What are your traditions around eating food? Did you grow up in a family that said a blessing before meals? Do you take a moment for a family or personal prayer before holiday feasts? Perhaps these days you take a photo of your meal to appreciate its beauty before eating. Or maybe you take a moment to inhale the scent, take deep breaths to relax into the experience of eating. In my family saying a blessing before a meal was a regular tradition while I grew up, especially at holidays. We were not alone. Around the world, across different cultures and religious traditions you can find many ritual practices of saying grace. Whether those traditions invoke a deity or not, they reflect a deeply ingrained evolutionary impulse to give thanks for that which nourishes us.
Lately gratitude practice has become the focus of more attention when it comes to happiness research, and not just as it applies to food! Research shows that practicing gratitude comes with a whole host of benefits, including increased happiness, better sleep, reduced stress, and increased compassion for others. (Here's an article that briefly sums up some of the scientifically proven benefits) In Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant's new book Option B, gratitude is mentioned several times for the role it can play in coping with devastating loss and instilling resilience. Sandberg cites this study (among others), which found that participants in the "gratitude group" of a study reported increased happiness and fewer health problems. This video also presents a recreation of another scientific study, which demonstrates that calling a person to thank them can improve happiness. In fact, the conclusion of this experiment seems to indicate that the more unhappy you are the more benefits you will see from gratitude.
Of course we don't need to wait for a tragedy to strike or for someone else to do something for us in order to experience the benefits of gratitude practice. Many authors from a wide variety of backgrounds (whether it be in research, science, psychology, spirituality, faith traditions, etc) have spoken and written about the benefits of a daily, ritual gratitude practice. If you're interested in learning more you might want to check out authors/speakers like Brene Brown, Brother David Steindl-Rast (I highly recommend watching his linked TED talk!), Gretchen Rubin, The Dalai Lama, to name a few (I know this list is far from complete!).
When you start digging into the research on the subject of gratitude, the overwhelming truth that emerges is this:
Gratitude creates happiness. Not the other way around.
It's a truth that might be counterintuitive to us. How many times have we all thought "as soon as I [lose weight] [get rid of this disease] [have a boyfriend] [get my dream job] [get out of debt] [insert desire of choice here] I will then and only then be happy"? We all have these thoughts. I recognize them within myself weekly! I am not saying that we shouldn't strive for our dreams and goals, but the truth is that happiness is not something to be achieved only in the future when x or y happens. Happiness can be created in the here and now, whether we have fulfilled our life's purpose and achieved all of our dreams or not. In fact, I would argue that creating happiness in the now can only help energize us to reach for those dreams and goals.
It's possible that gratitude creates happiness because regularly practicing gratitude actively rewires our brain for appreciation. Much like practicing a musical instrument gradually improves our abilities on that instrument, regularly practicing gratitude improves our ability to see the positives in our experiences. The word "appreciate" can literally mean to "raise the value" of something. When we draw our focus to the things we are grateful for, we increase their value and presence in our minds, and I believe that is all for the good!
Whether you are convinced by the evidence for gratitude practice or not, to me the single most convincing argument for being regularly thankful really comes down to this - That life is short, fleeting, precious, and relentlessly unpredictable. When I think about this truth, the question that then arises is - Why not be thankful? Regardless of the challenges or hardships I am facing in my life, what do I have to lose by taking stock of what matters to me in this world and in my life? What's stopping me?
What's stopping you? What have you got to lose from just giving it a try? You don't have to wait until tragedy strikes or until it's too late. You can start today. Whether it's saying a blessing at dinner, saying a prayer at night, saying a word of thanks out loud in the morning, or taking a moment during the day to write down 3 things you are grateful for, there is no wrong way to do this. Food offers us a very tangible way to appreciate our opportunity for nourishment, but its certainly not the only thing we have to be grateful for. Take a moment to think about what nourishes you in your life right now. There's no right or wrong answer here, only an opportunity to give thanks for the things that mean something to you.
If you would like to join me I am openly practicing thankfulness for the entire month of November. Each day I'll be posting something I'm thankful for on my Instagram page (follow me at handle @LisaBarksdaleHealthCoach). I invite you to join me, whether it's in the comments or sharing a private message or taking a moment to reflect on your own, please join me this month in reflecting on the things we are thankful for.
You can read more about my 30 Days of Thankful project in my previous blog post.