Dear readers, since I began writing this post a couple weeks ago some serious things have happened in the news which have been weighing on me. Threats of violence, massacres of innocents, elections of people with backwards, disturbing views, polarizing words and actions from our leaders, and ideologies of hatred and intolerance amplified by new technologies and platforms. In the words of a friend of mine it feels “as if a dark shadow is passing over the world.” As I felt the presence of this dark shadow, I started to question the launch of my annual November gratitude project. I wondered if people would find gratitude silly or passé at such a dark time in our history. I wondered if I even had the energy to organize this thing, to come up with ways to be grateful every day when really all I want to do is hide under the covers until someone else sorts this thing out.

However, as I pondered the subject of gratitude, dipped back into the research, and revisited my own past experiences, I recognized that in dark times as well as light times we still need gratitude. In fact, our darkest times and consequently the times when we might feel the most resistance to it are actually the times when we need gratitude the most! (there’s a frustrating life lesson for you. grr)

So, even as my heart is heavy, I am also filled with excitement and joy in announcing the return of my November Gratitude Project!

Read on to learn more about what that entails.

As you read and if you choose to embark on this project with me, please remember that it is possible to be both sad to the point of despair and grateful all at the same time. Gratitude is not meant as a “fix” to obliterate all the bad feelings forever. Bad feelings are a natural part of life, and gratitude can co-exist with those challenging feelings. But it takes practice!

So to clarify - by “Gratitude” I don’t mean a sort of guilty sense of gratitude (like “Well, I know it could be worse, so I guess I’d better feel grateful”). I don’t mean a sort of hollow, detached gratitude that leads us to gloss over and ignore pain and suffering and make us numb and complacent. Instead I mean a regular practice of gratitude, a regular practice of acknowledging the things, big and small, that we are grateful for in our lives. I mean a practice of Gratitude that is so regular it’s like taking a good daily multivitamin. It’s not a “cure-all” for our ills, it’s a habitual practice that helps support us in appreciating, embracing, and being fully present in our time here on this planet, no matter what.

I was reminded of the importance of this practice when reading the latest book by Brené Brown, Dare to Lead. In the book she speaks about the emotion of joy and how familiar we all are with a sense of “foreboding joy” (that moment when you feel so deeply joyful that it sends you into a state of dread, a sense that you’re somehow jinxing yourself by allowing yourself to feel joy, and now surely something terrible is bound to happen). Brené’s research has confirmed that those people and leaders who are courageous enough to lean into their joy are the ones who live and lead with what she calls “wholeheartedness.”

And guess what is linked to the ability to lean into joy? It’s gratitude!

Here’s what Brené Brown writes about Gratitude in Dare to Lead:

“Embodying and practicing gratitude changes everything. It is not a personal construct, it’s a human construct - a unifying part of our existence - and it’s the antidote to foreboding joy, plain and simple. It’s allowing yourself the pleasure of accomplishment, or love, or joy - of really feeling it, of basking in it - by conjuring up gratitude for the moment and for the opportunity. […] It’s allowing yourself to recognize the shiver of vulnerability […] and to just sit with it, and be grateful that you have something you want, in your hand, that it feels good to hold and recognize.”

Wow! I just love that passage. I love the idea that gratitude can unify us, that it can simultaneously lift us up and keep us firmly grounded in the experience of being human. It strikes me that that is exactly what we need right now. We need to find lights in the darkness. We need to find unity and solidarity and togetherness in the human experience. We need some Vitamin G!

Practicing gratitude might not feel like a heroic way of stomping out darkness. I can hear you worrying about how that sounds all well and good, but we don’t really have time for that. Don’t we have more important things to do? Well, reader, I agree! We do have important things to do, and we don’t have time for complacency. But I don’t think gratitude keeps us from acting in accordance with our values and making changes in our lives. Quite the opposite, I’ve found again and again that it actually supports us making those changes and moving forward with grace, courage, and (to use Brené Brown’s word) wholeheartedness.

We can both take action and feel grateful. We can recognize where we need to make changes in our lives and in our world, and feel grateful for what we have already. Gratitude helps strengthen us and unify us so that we are more able to make those changes, whether they are for ourselves or our communities. So please do not give into that little anxious voice that says “there’s no time. I’ll feel grateful tomorrow” or that other voice that says “I’ll deserve to feel grateful once I’ve accomplished x, y, or z.” You know that voice will never be satisfied! You can’t wait for it to decide you’re ready for gratitude. You’re ready now. Don’t wait.

Don’t wait to give appreciation to those you love until it’s too late. Don’t wait to appreciate your body until it’s falling apart. Don’t wait to appreciate the earth until you are about to leave it (none of us can know when that will happen). Don’t wait. Start taking your vitamin G today!

Your gratitude practice can look however you like. Perhaps it’s saying a blessing with your family each night, perhaps it’s sharing with your partner before bed, perhaps it’s writing in a journal when you wake up, perhaps it’s counting your blessings every time you’re waiting in a line or at a red light. There’s no right or wrong way. As always, find what works for you.

I invite you to join me in practicing gratitude daily for the month of November! I’ll be sharing a daily gratitude prompt on my Instagram and Facebook page. You are welcome to share your reflections with me in the comments or privately in a message or simply use the prompts as jumping off points for your own personal reflections and conversations with loved ones in your life. I would love to share this experience of shining the light of gratitude into the world together. I hope you can join me!

To participate in the November Gratitude Project you can follow me:
on Instagram at @lisabarksdalehealthcoach
or on Facebook at @lisabarksdalehealthcoach